That Fire Inside
by Oh You in that Dress
Summary: How far does loyalty go when the one you follow has lost herself? One time Ty Lee stands idly by and lets Azula fall, and one time she catches her. Oneshot. [Azula/Ty Lee]


Ty Lee stared at the wall in her prison cell. Mai was staring at the ceiling, and both of them had been in absolute silence for hours. Ty Lee felt slightly chilled, and had strange levels of guilt within her. If she had let Mai die it would have absolutely killed her. But letting Azula go was _hard_, even if the decision to save Mai was easier than she thought it would be.

Mai loved Zuko; Ty Lee loved Azula. And they both... only one could live. And Ty Lee let Mai and Zuko live on, for some inexplicable reason, instead of doing the shallow and selfish thing of keeping her own teenage love.

She picked at a scab on her neck until it bled, dripping down in a single crimson path before rolling between her breasts.

"Do you think she's okay?" Ty Lee asked, and until then she had been too afraid to even acknowledge that Azula existed.

"I don't know," Mai said, not wanting to dig further into Ty Lee and Azula. It was easier to try to let Ty Lee forget; to try to forget herself. "It wasn't an easy choice for either of us."

"It was easier than it should've been," Ty Lee whispered before attempting to smile. It simply hurt her lips as they twisted upwards.

Mai closed her eyes and tried to think of the right words. But that never was what Mai was best at. She could only pick at her nails and hope that the war would end well, and plead with the spirits to not allow them to be executed by Azula or Ozai.

"What are you supposed to do when you're following somebody who's lost?" Ty Lee asked loudly and Mai pursed her lips. "I would've followed her to the edge of the world but she was... she was really lost. She was..."

"She has a fire in her. A gravitational personality. Leadership skills. She knows how to say the right thing." Mai paused, knowing those statements were obviously useless. "But she was lost. Or losing it, at least. You can't follow somebody who's giving you orders that hurt you to follow."

"Maybe." Ty Lee agreed with her, but struggled to say it aloud.

The days crawled by slowly, very slowly.

Ty Lee did not know the extent of Azula until she saw how shaken Zuko was.

"What happened to her?" Ty Lee breathed. It was before his coronation, before Ty Lee had even received a uniform ─ although the Kyoshi Warriors were bound to let her in. "What happened?"

"She's going to be okay," Zuko replied, as if trying to reassure himself as much as her. "She's not hurt. Sort of."

"What do you mean, _sort of_?" Ty Lee demanded and Zuko swallowed a lump in his throat.

"I put her in an asylum."

"For what?"

"Because she had a complete fucking breakdown, that's why!" Zuko shouted before seeing Ty Lee wrap her arms around herself, lip trembling. "I'm sorry," he said, lowering his voice again. "But, I think, maybe she can get better, right? That's what places like that do."

Zuko did not want to tell Ty Lee everything. He could not even he tried. How she just deteriorated further and further. Sobbing, raving, screaming until she was eerily silent because her throat was torn and bloody. Ty Lee did not need to know that. And she did not need to know that Azula screamed about her as much as Zuko and Katara.

"You're right. She'll get better," Ty Lee murmured. "But... the higher the pedestal..."

"The harder the fall," Zuko finished reluctantly.

_I let her fall_, Ty Lee thought to herself, but she turned away and decided to occupy herself with her new friends. But none of them were as good as her old friends. And Ty Lee wondered, as she watched Azula falling from her chi being blocked, if Ty Lee should have just done the wrong thing and caught her.

Ty Lee always felt wrong doing the right thing and right doing the wrong thing. And she could not believe that she developed a conscience just in time to allow the only woman she ever loved to snap in half. She fell, she shattered, and Ty Lee was too afraid to pick up the pieces.

She felt shame, but she swallowed it. It was not really her fault. She _had _to save Mai, didn't she? It was not a choice. Not a choice.

* * *

><p>Years passed. Ty Lee saw Azula again and regretted it because Zuko was wrong and she did not get better. And then she was gone, faded off of the face of the Earth. Which, by all means, should have been good for Ty Lee, but it felt bad.<p>

She just thought about all the words she should have said or what she could have known if she paid more attention. If she were not so dumb to _not catch her_. But that made no sense. No sense at all.

Years passed before Ty Lee saw Azula for the first time after Zuko used her to find Ursa. She was in the palace, lying on a sofa with her hands on her concave stomach and Ty Lee saw how she had deteriorated in so many ways. She let her fall. She let her fall.

"I have no desire to talk to you," Azula said before Ty Lee had even entered the room. "You should leave."

"I..." Ty Lee whispered, walking in anyway. Azula touched two of her fingers together to attack but decided against it. "I wanted to tell you a lot of things."

"Like what?" Azula breathed in a mocking tone.

"Like I still love you."

"You should've been over me a long, long time ago," Azula sighed, with a look in her golden eyes that resembled pity.

"I forgive you."

"I don't forgive you," Azula replied instantly and Ty Lee wished she had never come here. But she had to. She had to. "You _ruined _me. Don't pretend to care."

"I do care," Ty Lee said as she looked at Azula and saw the fire inside of her still burned. But instead of an inferno, it was like a candle. And Ty Lee wanted to bring that fire back, even if it was impossible. She could not let it go out after letting Azula slip away and not bothering to do anything about it for so long.

Ty Lee would not let Azula fall again. She stuck to her and was relentless until Azula finally caved in and decided to try.

One night, Azula woke up screaming and Ty Lee ran into her room from across the hall. They may have slept together, but they did not share a bed because Azula was still so unwilling and Ty Lee was still so confused.

"Are you okay?" Ty Lee asked, walking in and kneeling on the bed. Azula had tears streaming down her face that Ty Lee was certain she could not feel. "What's wrong?"

"I was falling," Azula said, then laughing hollowly.

Ty Lee paused, hesitating the course of action. Rebuilding their relationship has been as slow and painful as rebuilding the war torn world. But she pulled Azula into her arms even if it would get her electrocuted to death. But Azula just rested her head on Ty Lee's shoulder, too weak, shaken and trembling to protest or try to exert power over Ty Lee.

"I won't let you fall," Ty Lee breathed, and they said no more.


End file.
